Tu co chi kim, co nhan kha:
Tai gia tong phu; Xuat gia tong phu; Phu tu tong tu.
From ancient times, those of old have said:
At home follow father; Marry follow husband; Husband die follow son.
Women in Vietnam are traditionally expected to be obedient to the men in their lives, and their actions are likewise expected to be in agreement with and beneficial to these men. Women who live accordingly are considered proper and
worthy of mention within the community because society supposedly is made better by steadfast compliance to these traditional values. However, is there a point where traditional values should be looked down upon or prevented from being practiced? Is there a boundary that must be drawn in regards to how much of an impact these traditional values should be allowed to affect, say, the biological vivacity of a population?
Take, for instance, the story of nineteen-year-old Xuan in the VnExpress news article “Bi lua lay chong nhiem HIV” (“To be chosen to marry a husband infected with HIV”). When city mother Ha learned that her son was HIV positive, Ha purposely traveled to a distant village to find a woman to marry her son. Ha found Xuan and intentionally hid from Xuan her son’s HIV condition. It was not until Xuan was examined by her OB/GYN that she discovered her husband’s hidden HIV status. When asked why she did not tell Xuan, Ha replied that as a mother she must do what is best for her son, and as head-of-household she must ensure that the family’s bloodline will not be lost (mat giong).
This case (along with 56 similar cases in the past year) shows that it is not a lack of education that is causing the proliferation of HIV in Vietnam; rather, it is the lack of consideration for how the lives of those involved will be impacted—all for the purpose of abiding by longstanding values of what is proper for women and not terminating a family’s bloodline. Is this acceptable – to blindly follow traditional values while disregarding HIV’s (and other infectious agents’) significant effects? Is society supposedly better by the steadfast compliance to these traditional values?
The answer would seem to be a resounding NO. According to data from UNAIDS, WHO, and CIESIN, the number of people living with HIV in Vietnam has soared between 1990 and 2010 and has reached epidemic levels. 100% of Vietnam’s provinces now report cases of HIV (approximately 90% of districts and 50% of communes with 40% higher prevalence in areas with more injected drug users, female sex workers, and sexually active homosexual men). HIV, especially once developed into AIDS, would result in a reduced labor supply through increased mortality. Productivity, moreover, would decline as a result of HIV-related illnesses amongst those who are able to work. Given these disadvantages, should traditional values be disregarded completely?
- Number of People Living in Vietnam with HIV
Not necessarily. Traditional values are most definitely important in defining a culture, and sexual intimacy would only be natural between lovers. Furthermore, HIV-positive individuals should not be shunned by society. Nevertheless, appropriate measures should be taken to ensure that those who treasure traditional values are not cherishing them at the expense of their own health, nor that of society.
This article provides some valuable insight. But it fails to mention one traditional value that plays a key role in the transmission of HIV: Vietnam’s continuing homophobia.
A homophobic culture forces gay and bisexual men in Vietnam to stay in the closet. This results in Vietnamese men who have sex with other men doing so quietly and secretly. That practice, coupled with poor education about HIV transmission, results in many new infections and exposes unsuspecting spouses. The situation is similar to that of many African-American men whose culture is less tolerant than mainstream society, leading them to have sex with other men on the so-called “down-low.”
Homophobia, bigotry and ignorance are not traditional values worth keeping.
Hi Robert,
Thank you very much for your comments. The points mentioned in this article are of course not all encompassing as there are certainly other contributing factors. Homophobia in relation to the transmission of HIV and a homophobic culture are definitely subjects that will be looked into and possibly addressed in future articles.
However, to classify homophobia, bigotry, and ignorance as traditional values may be a bit loaded.
Great article.
“Bi lua lay chong nhiem HIV” should be translated to “Girl tricked to marry HIV infected husband.”
Hi Zoom,
Thank you very much. And, you are absolutely right. “Lua” without accents/symbols/markings can clearly result in rather different definitions. Through the course of producing this article, the accents were lost, and thus, at quick glance, “lua” as in “tricked” have accidentally resulted in “lua” as in “chosen.” Ideally, accents will not be lost in future article, so similar occurrence to this will not be repeated.
I have difficulty understanding the core purpose of this article. I read it twice, but still couldn’t find what it is trying to convey. Is it trying to point out a correlation between Vietnamese Traditional Values and the rising in HIV cases?
Hi Neil,
Thank you for reading the article twice and giving it some thoughts. This piece of writing is clearly only one person’s opinionated musing that perhaps there is a correlation. Scientific research to prove or disprove that such an association is or was present will naturally need to be conducted if there are individuals who desire to do so. A number of personal case histories occurring within recent times is, needlessly to say, not enough evidence for sound conclusions.
Hi,
I agree that this is an one person’s opinionated musing, and it’s not a result of some serious scientific research. However, to conclude such correlation from one example is quite naive that I could only find it from a middle school student. Plus, this case has nothing to do with the Vietnamese traditional values about “Tai Gia Tong Phu, Xuat Gia Tong Phu, Phu Tu Tong Tu”. It’s just an example of some selfish people out there who want their child with HIV marrying a poor girl. Let’s say if I read a news article about a Vietnamese robber who goes around to kill and rob people to feed his poor mother, can I raise my opinion about there is a correlation between “Increasing Robbery is due to Vietnamese Traditional Value of Cong Cha Nhu Nui Thai Son, Nghia Me Nhu Nuoc Trong Nguon Chay Ra” ?
Hi Neil,
Thank you for sharing additional thoughts. Selfishness could, no doubt, be another possible conclusion. Your example of the robber brings to mind the well-known tale of Robin Hood and that of the Iron Monkey. Is Robin Hood or the Iron Monkey a hero or an outlaw? Or can Robin Hood and the Iron Monkey be both?
Perhaps, the mother in the story is selfish. What does this mother gain from her son marrying a poor woman? Yet, maybe, the woman is dutifully abiding by the teaching of Confucius and should be provided due credit. Another often-related story that has been told throughout the ages is the Water Margin. Should the one hundred and eight characters in this narrative be looked-down upon or praised?
Hi,
The problem with your correlation is that I have heard of stories of some fathers force their HIV sons to marry a wife without telling the wife know about his HIV case. So, your question about “what does this mother gain from doing so?” can be answered with “she hopes to have a healthy grandchild to make her happy when she gets old but she’s too stupid to know that her grandchild will have HIV too”. There could be other answers to that question as well but the bottom line is, there are cases of both father and mother do such kind of thing for their children. For the father, it is mainly the reason of keeping his blood line or surname to continue into the future.
All I want to point out is that your case is not enough to make a correlation to “Tai Gia Tong Phu, Xuat Gia Tong Phu, Phu Tu Tong Tu”. This kind of thing that humans do are just from their own selfishness, from both men and women, not just the mothers so that you could use your quote. Unless you could find 100 cases (or 56 cases as you mentioned in your article without reference) that all belong to mother but not father, then it’s enough to convince the readers.
To Robert,
Homosexuality became a mainstream topic in the last decade so of course there is a hesitation to its “newness”, even in the states. I’m not certain what your experience with the Vietnamese community was, but in my experience, they don’t condemn it. I think it takes a while for some to adapt to it because the issue was a taboo for so long. This is especially true with the Eastern world.
The Vietnamese culture has a concept called “tinh nguoi” which can be loosely translated as “human love.” It is understood that love bonds humans to each other. So because of this concept, people can easily look past sexuality issues to accept others. Like I said before, the openness of sexual preference is new and it takes time, but I bet the Vietnamese will be the first ones to defend a person’s right to live as he/she wants.
Back to the article, here is another article that might explain the rise of HIV cases in Vietnam. Answer: Rise of sex and lack of sexual awareness.
Hi Thanh,
Thank you for mentioning the idea of philanthropy. One must also keep in mind that not everyone embraces every aspect of humanity equally. There are definitely people living today who, for example, are pro-life when the argument is about abortions yet firmly believe that homosexual individuals “bi benh hoan” in the sense that these individuals chose to be such way and that that choosing is amiss so these individuals must be eradicated for the good of humanity. These existing people who think such clearly is contradictory in their value of human life. So to state that “human love” can result in looking past sexuality preference for all Vietnamese is difficult to presume at this point in time. It does seem that your past experiences within the Vietnamese community have been positive and that is something that others who are not as privileged will most likely envy.
In regards to the rise of sex and lack of sexual awareness as two other factors contributing to increasing rates of HIV cases in Vietnam, there are definitely statistics showing the increase of sexual activities amongst young, unmarried Vietnamese along with their lack of education in the matter. Please look forward to upcoming articles that will touch upon this.