Has anyone ever told you that “your English is pretty good,” not knowing that you were, in fact, born in America? As a third generation Asian-American, I have had to face comments like these for years.
Actually, English is my first language, and I do not speak any Asian languages at all. My parents and even my grandparents have spoken English to me my entire life. I was raised with American values, and I consider myself 100% American and 100% Chinese. Though I hold these two identities, others tend to only see one.
I grew up in an Asian neighborhood and went to majority Asian schools from pre-school through high school. So, being Asian and speaking English always seemed normal to me. However, I have also long known what it feels like to be an outsider in the Asian community. Most are familiar with the term FOB, meaning “fresh off the boat,” but there is also a term for people like me and that is ABC, which is short for “American-born Chinese” and is also derogatory for Chinese-Americans have little to nonexistent knowledge of the Chinese language. Since I know that I’m an ABC, I feel uncomfortable going to Chinatown or ordering Chinese food because I know that as soon as I open my mouth, it will give away that I can’t speak Chinese. I’d rather avoid the dirty looks and the knowledge that people are looking at me and thinking, “Look at that dumb ABC!”
It’s even more embarrassing when an elderly man or woman at the grocery store starts asking me something in Chinese, pointing and saying things that I don’t understand. I’d like to help them, I really would. But all I can do is tell them in English what they’re holding and apologize for my inability to communicate.
Now, it’s one thing to get contempt from other Asians because I can understand how they find it disappointing that I can’t speak the language of my own people…but when unpleasant comments come from non-Asians, it irks me in a different way. Then, it becomes prejudiced and racist.
One encounter that has stuck with me occurred while shopping in downtown San Francisco. As if kiosk venders aren’t annoying already, the one who was trying to sell useless junk to me asked, “Where are you from?” Not thinking anything of it, I replied honestly, “San Francisco.” But this wasn’t what he wanted to know. Unsatisfied with my response, he inquired again, “No, where are you really from?” How insulting! The nerve of a stranger to take one look at my Asian face and assume I was not from here! I don’t mean to say anything against immigrants. America would not be America without them. But I think it was wrong for him to assume that I was an immigrant just because I did not look to him like the stereotypical White American. What he really wanted to know was what my ethnicity was. Without making a scene, I said calmly, “You mean, where were my ancestors from? China.” But I will never forget his bigotry.
Although I identify myself as an American, there is no such place called “America-land.” So I acknowledge that I have Asian roots and that I am a person of color. I am proud to be Asian AND I am proud to be American. I am both, whether the world can see it or not.
Did you know?
Asians live across the United States, on both coasts, in Hawaii, and even Alaska. According to the Census of 2000, 4.2% of Americans are of Asian descent. That’s 11.9 million people. Is this more or less than you expected?
Credit: U.S. Census Bureau, http://www.census.gov/prod/2002pubs/c2kbr01-16.pdf
I totally agree…. except that in my experience, asians are typically more racist than whites! While living in Vietnam, I was looked at / pointed at / called a “tay” every single day of my life for 3 years. And expats or tourists with black skin were openly mocked! So don’t play the poor victim…
That is racist :(:(:(. I’ve seen so much of that ALL THE TIME. Don’t worry about not knowing the language, but it’s nice if you can learn a little bit just to gain a feel of it and maybe you can speak little next time you go to Chinatown or whereever and also shut the damn mouths of those who mock you. It’ll tell them they are stupid for judging and criticizing. Since you consider yourself Chinese as well as American, I assume you know about the Chinese culture and it’s customs well, which is a good thing. Lack of speaking does not mean you don’t know squat about your culture.it’s stupid. Your parents taught you well of what your heritage is and where your ancestors are from. And yes, it’s expected that you would grow up with an American mentality….it’s common sense. I’m Indian American, and I know the culture ok enough. I understand the language well enough and can speak a little bit, but I’m more comfortable with English so you would rarely hear me speak (I do converse in the language with my cousins in India though mixed with English), I can eat and cook some of the food, my family celebrates the holidays and customs, which I enjoy …yet I am raised in America, and the mentality will never be erased from me. It’s hard being part of two cultures…one side wants you to be only one identity, and the other is tempting you to be the other identity..only you can choose of who you are, no one else.
As I am able to relate to all this I couldn’t help but swallow a lump a lump in my throat while I read this. It’s sad really, how ignorant people can be. People always talk about how advanced America is and all. I say “How? When you can even accept anything but whites as Americans?” It’s kinda sad :/