The generation gap certainly has brought about hardships to the relationships of Vietnamese children and their parents. Not only are we growing up in a different time period, but for many us, in a different country and society as well. Finding it difficult to relate between generations, we often turn to our friends. However, among our peers of the same cohort, does another gap exist as well?
Think about it. Do all young Vietnamese come from the same background, and can all easily relate to each other? Which young Vietnamese subgroups have no problem conforming to American society, and which struggle? Which groups have problems relating to Vietnamese peers, and which find themselves more easily relating to those who are more closely connected to Vietnam itself? Different experiences and different backgrounds have created divisions amongst subgroups in this younger generation of Vietnamese-Americans.
I’ve heard it all. “I’m Vietnamese,” “I’m Vietnamese living in America,” “I am an American-born Vietnamese,” “I am Vietnamese-American,” “I am an American whose family was once from Vietnam,” and simply, “I am an American.” On this wide scale, each Vietnamese decides for him or herself where he or she falls. Is there a gap, a nearly impossible relationship, between those who identify themselves as Vietnamese and those whose family once came from Vietnam but now identify themselves as American? Let’s be honest–we associate ourselves with those with whom we have things in common, and if we’re coming from different backgrounds, we may not have a lot in common, thus creating a divide amongst us all who, bottom line, are Vietnamese.
To be accepted as Vietnamese—what expectations must you fulfill to be completely part of the group? Please let me know, because I, personally, have never able to figure it out. I am an American whose grandparents once came from Vietnam… and it shows.
You know the Asian and Vietnamese stereotypes. We all excel in math, we’re all great with computers, we’re all bad drivers–but that’s okay because our honor grades make up for it. We mostly marry within our own race and our parents live with us when we’re old. Even young American-born Vietnamese have stereotypes. Don’t we all go clubbing and dance to techno music every Saturday night? It’s the stereotypes we create for ourselves that create the so-called “outsiders.”
I’d add to your Dad response: “of course you are different and I’m proud of you”. I’m an “older generation” Vietnamese-American Dad with a college degree in US, engineer of course, with four daughters, two were born in VN and two in the US. And they’re all different. I don’t know if they are more Vietnamese or more American. One of them was in the US Navy for six years and now a school teacher, one is a nurse with a MBA and now traveling all over to teach some kind of medical procedures to hospital staff, one was under-graduated pre-med with honor and decided not to go medical school and now working as a professional photographer, and the last one also a college grad working in an investment company. I, just like you, share the same experiences with other older generation Vietnamese for being “different”.
And what wrong with being “different”? It’d be boring, isn’t it?
At 62 I love to read your site and many others younger Vietnamese include the ones from Vietnam. I proud of those who sees outside the box “paradigm”. Love to have you correct my English. Thanks for giving some good reading.
“Why not report this to my boss? She’s Vietnamese as well, and joined right in. She wanted to bond with her employees and what better way to do it than through office gossip. After I told her that I understood Vietnamese, she was slightly embarrassed, but justified it because she was….”
She’s actually not that type of person, she can care less about what’s going on between co-workers and what’s said. It’s about her the school, that’s her business and her primary focus. I’m sure she’s not favoring or siding with the latest in’s and out’s of her employees’ lives, just as a proprietor of a gym or MMA studio can care less about what their coaches do on their off time. As long as your on your A game when you clock in and fulfilling your job duties I guess no one can complain right?
I kind of feel like you singled out others as if we isolated you as Vietnamese or thought one thing or the other. I honestly remember feeling as if you bonded with the other teachers. I distinctly remember you playing madgab with your fellow coworkers. I don’t think anyone feels as if they are trying to single out the Caucasian teachers who teach math, or that even a Vietnamese teachers who teach SAT English as well….