Vietnamese Men In General – Good or Bad?

By on April 21, 2010 • Topics: Arts & Culture,OneVietnam Buzz

Yesterday, OneVietnam Network asked our fans about their opinions regarding Vietnamese women.  We received a lot of positive answers as well as a few negative ones.  However, some fans have pointed it out that such a question was rather silly.  At this moment, I am still curious about the reasons behind that statement and would love to view things from the male perspective about Vietnamese women.  Until I get a chance to know the real issues, I will continue to ask another “silly” question:  What about Vietnamese men – what are your impressions?

This article will generalize my point of view about Vietnamese men, and you can have your own opinions as you like.  Just leave a comment. There are no haters here!

It is very questionable that the Vietnamese literature only highly regards Vietnamese women, but not men.  Whenever a piece of work mentions some noble Vietnamese man (e.g: a king, a hero, or a legendary character), the author only sugarcoats the characteristics and personalities of that particular individual.  I have yet to see or read any writing that praises Vietnamese males in general.  Are we really that bad?  Well, let’s dissect this topic together.

A Bunch of Lazy Bums…

Yes, on top of my list is laziness.  Whenever I ask a Vietnamese female about what they think of Vietnamese men or their own men, the most likely answer I would get is “Lazy bums! They never do anything!”  Wow!  Indeed!

However, I believe this is only true for most men in Vietnam who live in the cities.  The majority of them basically do nothing.  Their wives take care of almost everything in the house, from cooking, to cleaning, to taking care of children — even after long hours at work.  These men usually spend their lives drinking beer with their buddies and talking loudly about random topics all day long. Of course, there are exceptions; there are men who actually work hard and are goal-oriented.

There are two things to blame for the problem of men being lazy bums:  (1) Traditional Vietnamese culture has imprinted in their brains the idea that “Husband is the King, Wife is the Slave”.  This idea was formed when men used to be the main providers of the family, giving him all the powers in the house.  However, as society modernized, it is much more difficult for men to be the only providers in the family.  This has forced women into the workforce, but men are having problems adjusting their living style to share chores in the home. Basically, women have moved forward along with modern society while their men are lagging behind.  (2)  The second reason could be explained by the following characteristic.

Big, Big, Big Ego!

Having an ego and feelings of self-importance are actually a must for everybody. It keeps us striving for a better life and a higher status.  However, it could also be viewed as an Achilles’ heel.   A man with too big of an ego can never get over himself.  Vietnamese men usually regard themselves very highly and always think that they are superior to others.  They cannot easily accept the fact that their women are better than them.  They would rather spend their days outside of the house drinking beer than washing a basket of underwear for their wife and kids.  They want their friends to think that even though they are not the main providers of the household, they can still have the power; that power is being proven by the fact that they is out drinking with their buddies, and somebody else is doing the dirty work.  Their friends are probably on the same boat.  For that reason, they will all compete to see who can sit at the beer shop the longest to prove who is the most powerful man.

Gallant (Overdoing)

How many times do you go out with a Vietnamese man and he offers to pay for you?  How many times do you go out with that same Vietnamese man and he offers to pay for you again?  I don’t know how lucky you are, but I rarely had to pay for anything when I visited Vietnam.  Yes, I’m a guy, not a beautiful girl as you would imagine.  Most Vietnamese men won’t let you pay if you were to go out with them regardless of your gender, even if you have to throw a fist at them to pay for your own share.  A lot of people think that this is a very nice trait of a gentleman, but to me they are overdoing it.  Sometimes, they offer to cover your back when they don’t even have enough money for themselves!  Maybe we could link this trait to the big ego that I mentioned above and get a clearer picture of why Vietnamese men act like that.  Some people may say that Vietnamese men are more generous than other men.  That really depends on you.

Extraordinarily Smart

I think I have covered enough bad things about Vietnamese men in general.  Let’s go to some good stuff.  I have to admit that it is quite difficult to find a dumb Vietnamese man.  They are either very street-smart, academically intelligent, or sometimes both (the scary ones).  We have recently read about the infamous mathematician Ngo Bao Chau, who successfully proved the impossible Langlands’ Fundamental Lemma.  The world history has written about King Tran Hung Dao, who repeatedly defeated the unbeatable Mongol army under Kublai Khan by using clever military strategies.  The title of “the father of personal computer” belongs to Andre Truong Trong Thi, a Vietnamese engineer who invented the Micral microcomputer based on an Intel 8008 processor in 1973.  As you can see, our people are gifted with intelligent and powerful minds.  If Vietnamese men could get rid of their laziness, I believe that there will be even more famous people to name.

Dutiful

Whether it is a duty to protect his country from invasion or to take care of his aging parents, Vietnamese men will never shy away from their duties.  For more than 2,000 years, Vietnam has always gained back its land from the invaders regardless how powerful its enemies are.  Very different from European men, Vietnamese men will most likely live with their parents to take care of them as they age.  These familial values are explained by the Confucian ideas that have heavily influenced living standards in Vietnam.

Romantic

This trait can be well seen in almost many Vietnamese work of literature, from  poetry to music to novels.  Please keep in mind that most songwriters and composers in Vietnamese are males.  It is very difficult to find any Vietnamese song or poems that have upbeat and happy music, like R&B music.  The purpose of most songs or novels is to make the listeners cry as much as they can.  I’ll let you decide whether this is a good trait of the Vietnamese men.

Your thoughts…

The article is getting rather long, but I still have so many things to write about.  However, I would very love to hear what you have to say about Vietnamese men.  Let’s start a discussion!

The Author:

Vinh is a senior actuarial analyst working for a management consulting firm specializes in Health & Welfare consulting. He received a Bachelor of Arts in Applied Mathematics from the University of California, Berkeley. View Vinh's Extended Bio.

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  • Kimberly Truong

    I found this article very entertaining as well as enlightening. The end asks for one’s impression of a Vietnamese men.. IN GENERAL.. personally, I don’t know how I could group them all into one category… despite stereotypes and the extreme that negates the stereotypes.. I have met Vietnamese men who have been… to Harvard and Vietnamese men who work at home depot at the age of 30. I have met Vietnamese men who drink and gamble, and Vietnamese men who appreciate a nice conversation with coeds of the party. I have met men who think I need to be in the kitchen, and men who open doors and pull out chairs for me. Let’s not group them as one and understand the men you find in coffee shops are very different from the men you find donating their time teaching kids math and science… “Vietnamese men” are like “Vietnamese women,” “Vietnamese people,” “white men,” “white people,”– you can’t generalize them, raising the unworthy and insulting the exceptional.

    • Todd

      Well put Kimberly Truong!

  • Tin Dinh

    Although this was a good try at conjuring up some stereotypes of typical Vietnamese males, I do not think the author provided substantive arguments as to why these claims are unique only to Vietnamese men. For instance, having the ability to down the most alcohol is also a skill hotly debated amongst college students every Friday night here in the US. For the majority of these characterizations, I feel like they are applicable to men of all cultures.

    It should also be noted that Vietnam was most likely a matriarchal society at the beginning of its history, as evident by early heroes like the Trung sisters and Ba Trieu. It wasn’t until the introduction of Confucian values and, ultimately, complete Sinicization brought on by Chinese invaders that the Vietnamese became a patriarchal people. Thus, I would say that the deference to women, and the (somewhat) misandry as highlighted by the author at the beginning of the article, in the current Vietnamese culture is partly because of these emotional vestiges left by Vietnamese societies long ago.

    • James

      Although this was a good try at conjuring up some stereotypes of typical Vietnamese males, I do not think the author provided substantive arguments as to why these claims are unique only to Vietnamese men. For instance, having the ability to down the most alcohol is also a skill hotly debated amongst college students every Friday night here in the US. For the majority of these characterizations, I feel like they are applicable to men of all cultures.

      Having spent over 2 years in Vietnam, I did not know of more than a handful of Vietnamese men, not just college students or sailors, but of all ages, that did not spend every night out drinking with their mates. I was not in HCMC or Hanoi for long, so I cant speak to those cities. I rarely ever saw families doing any sort of activity together, be it the beach, hot springs, shopping, eating out, etc. Seemed to me that groups of men of all ages were out drinking beer until the restaurants closed. From the perspective of the families that these men are the supposed heads of, I cant see how they are bringing happiness to them.

      You are right on about the historical Vietnam, too bad that confucianism replaced the traditional matriarchal culture. It’s also a shame that the Cham culture has all but disappeared as well.

  • Anonymous

    I think there is a huge issue with the question itself. Vietnamese Men, in general, good or bad?

    First, the question suggests that one can even categorize an entire group of individuals under one nondescript word, “good” or “bad.” What does it mean to be good or bad? Secondly, what perspective are we looking from? A woman, a man, an Americanized individual, European, etc? Lastly, are we talking about men born and raised in Vietnam or men who’s origins at some point in time was in Vietnam? Or are we talking about men who have been raised in a Vietnamese family? All these questions point out the flaw in this generalized question.

    It is my belief that we as individuals are shaped by the environment that we have been raised. Countries, cities, even families are all composed with very different dynamics. This does not account for the media and social environment that a child is faced with growing up. All of these add to create very specific individuals that have different opinions about family, relationships, marriage, friends, morals, ethics, etc. Yes, I can group people together and get an “answer” to that good or bad question but you cannot extend an answer from one to hundreds to thousands to millions. The generalization made by the author may all be true in one individual, some individuals, and none. They also maybe true of any person. I am an Americanized-Vietnamese woman who has a big ego, gallant, highly intelligent, and feel a sense of duty to my parents. I can attribute each of these characteristics to a myriad of reasons from my family to genetics to birth order to childish rivalries to that one teacher that pushed me to be better.

    I do not deny the importance of our family in shaping us but it is more important to look at the history of the country to see where certain values and family dynamics may been initiated, why they have continued, and how do we see them manifest in our culture today. But to judge whether these characteristics are “good” or “bad” is completely simplifying our history, culture, and people.

  • Charles Ngo

    I think there is a huge issue with vietnamese men good or bad in general. All i can said is you can’t judge the book by its cover unstill you spend time to read the book. We are human so no one can’t judge other when you judge someone look in your-self and your family before you judge other.

    • Ha Bui

      Charles Ngo: Are you Dr. Ngo?

  • http://vqinvietnam.blogspot.com vqinvietnam

    In support of the author, I agree with most of the stereotypical comments he provided. We can all be very nice and say let’s not generalize, or judge a person by a cover. But the truth is, everyone generalizes otherwise there wouldn’t be a discussion about any topic.

    Another thing about Vietnamese men, through the research that I’ve done. That I mean by talking to many of the Vietnamese women in my social group, is that not many of them are faithful. They would agree that only 10% Vietnamese men in Vietnam are nice and decent. And the rest, have wandering eyes. It’s true…I’ve spoken to friends, shop assistants and my clients. All have agreed with me and I know plenty of guys who have girlfriends or wives and still hit on other women, while out.

    The Vietnamese women know this and that’s why most women in Vietnam are so clingy. I don’t blame them.

    • petal

      Hey I guess the discussion above is very stereotypical of Men in general. I am from India and I can relate to most of the stuff written about Vietnamese men. I guess the above characteristics apply to 90% of the Men in the world

  • caligarn

    The good or bad question is hard to answer, but the question for me is, would foreign women date Vietnamese men? When I walk around the streets of Saigon, I often see Anglo-Saxon men walking with Vietnamese women, but I almost never see an Anglo-Saxon woman walking with a foreign woman. I think that example alone says something about Vietnamese men…they’re conservativism, attitude/respect toward women, etc.

    • http://blog.nhanvu.de jobnomade

      Exactly do not take it that serious. I love the article! @caligran shall I pass by once you are in the saigon streets for you to see Anglo-Saxon woman walking with a Vietnamese man :D

      @Tinh Ding: you are right, I think Vietnam is still a matriarchal society. Women are acting behind the scenes! And during the vietnam war who raised the children, feeding them, try to make the familiy’s life?

  • T Ng

    Nothing is wrong with the writting. Once someone wrote something, it’s their opinions and you should respect it. It’s just only for entertaining. I saw some of you guys take it so serious and it’s really shouldnt be that big of a deal.

  • Very Entertaining

    I agree with T Ng. The author said it straight up at the beginning of the article that it is his personal “point of view” about whether each of the traits he sees in Vietnamese men in GENERAL is “good” or “bad”, which really depends on him. To him and some others drinking beer all day long is “bad”, but to guys who love drinking is “good”. He also being very careful with his writings and re-state everything is just a generalization of what his view about Vietnamese men. Somebody here asked what is “Vietnamese man”, and I think that is a dumb question while someone else thinks that it is a good question. I think it is a dumb question because it really depends on the person who thinks he or she is a Vietnamese (with both parents are vietnamese OR having Vietnam citizenship OR just simply live in the Vietnamese culture for 1 year). The definition belongs to the person who wants to identify themselves.

    Somebody whines about “generalization”. Everybody generalizes! When you don’t know about a specific person, all you have is: general ideas. It’s like saying “black people are not good at Math”, when some great mathematicians are actually black. Or “Vietnamese men are short”, when some are actually well above 6 feet tall. So I agree with the author’s usage of word “most” here in his article.

    Great article! Very entertaining. I’m a Vietnamese man (based on what I value) and I enjoy reading this article.

  • Joe

    Vinh tran is an extraordinary person. Bright, strong and highly charming, though quite sensitive

  • Elaine

    I have noticed that a lot of Vietnamese guys that live around me are big players…
    One of them even started dating my friend’s mom after having a one night stand with her.
    But most Vietnamese men are very attractive and always sweet.
    Having “Asian talks” With my friends who don’t realize I am half white, a lot of Vietnamese say “All white girls are for is a good time.”
    Now, that is something that ticks you off.

    But on the other hand, the love of my life is American-Vietnamese and thankfully I haven’t seen him doing anything like those things I have mentioned. He is a great guy, and it makes em optimistic that stereotypes don’t really matter.

    • John Bui

      I agree with the writer the facts that most Vietnamese men are the big thinkers. Some of them are also strong minds that can manage their dreams into real. That why if you Google the Vietnamese last names you will find all kinds of successful Vietnamese men in all different professions in the USA. The rests are not capable or unfortunate (and some lazy) turn themselves into big talkers and even big drinkers. However, generally, they will do anything to make money like working 2-3 jobs, hard labor or even doing nails.
      For the Vietnamese men in VN, we have to look into the agriculture/fish exports, labor exports, constructions, heavy productions and most of all the numbers of degree holders. However, the present and future of men in VN is due to the government’s direction or limitation of the opportunities.
      I have to say that the Vietnamese men think education is very important and know how to live. They study/work hard and play hard. Typically, you can find a Vietnamese father will do anything to put his children through college. So please don’t judge them in one angle perspective of age group, location or when they play.
      They are also peaceful, generous, friendly and easy going but very protective and defensive which proved in the history.

  • Todd

    What makes a man good or bad is his characters and actions, not his origin.

  • John Bui

    I agree with Tod… but character/action are effected by education, environment, condition, tradition, culture, parent/family, relationships, society & more or you can call it background.

  • Michelle

    I just wanted to comment because I am caucasian American woman and I have been dating a Vietnamese man for over two years now and he is still a mystery. However, reading the article has opened my eyes completely and I realize that it’s not him, it’s his culture that is completely different. It’s comforting to read this article. There are still a few questions I have. Like why do we have to be so secretive and why hasn’t he even thought about introducing me to his friends or family yet. I think our relationship is pretty serious but he says longevity will tell the seriousness of our relationship. Thanks.

  • Kimmi

    Ja, I’m from Germany….
    Nothing to say ….only a few words
    vietnamese guys are extra- intelligent, extrovert, and sometimes shy …In general, I feel you’re dutiful..
    But you never have enough time to stay focus on something…A very big regret.
    Many men from other country are not such awesome, they are slow, sometimes skeptical, not open, a bit retarded…( like some Jap- or northen european)
    they don’t even have big friends, they don’t need many admirers, they don’t fancy others like THEM to fancy.. I mean, they have their own VIEW.
    You guys don’t have it, or more simply , easily lose your attention. maybe it’s harder to lose face.
    Even in business, we need something true and loyal, not to mention about emotional side.
    Luckily in many of my trips, I found many vietnamese men from the country side , they hold on to their value..even some of them are holding back too much ;-) for example, they don’t clean, shower often, have their breath too bad….

  • Herb O’Fallon

    Michelle,
    From your piece, my personal opinion is that, after two years of him not introducing you to his family or friends, it’s probably time for you to walk. A man who loves a woman doesn’t keep her in the closet—he wants to show her off.
    Sometimes, it’s hard for us to not want to open our eyes to the hard reality.
    Good luck. Find you a man who will take you out of the closet.

  • His Boss

    Hi, I’m dating a Vietnamese man. It’s my first time to date someone from a different race but I figured since we’re both asian maybe we’ll find a common ground. He’s only been in America for 3 years & I see how rich of a culture he’s brought with him from home. I very much agree with “Extraordinarily Smart” — he’s both street and book-smart but not scary at all. I find him focused, practical, determined, goal-oriented and hard worker. We’ve only been dating for over a month. I don’t know him too well yet but I just hope he’s faithful…

    @ vqinvietnam, suddenly…your comment made me put my wall WAY up…

  • the sun

    vietnamese are psycho

    • James Pham

      some are, just like you.

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  • TT

    WELL, I WAS MARRIED TO VIETNAMESE MAN 20 YEARS SO, I AM QUALIFY TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION, YES VIETANMESE MALES LOOK AT OTHER WOMAN AND FLIRT IN FRONT THEIR WIVES FACES, BUT IF THEIR WIVES DO IT THEY CALL THEM BITCHES! SO, I FEEL THIS WAY VIETANMESE MALES ARE NOT MEN AND THEIR PIGS AND THEY DO SLAP THEIR WOMAN AROUND AND LIE ALL THE TIME! BIGGEST LIERS IN THE  WOLRD! THEY PUT ON FAKE ACTS FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO MAKE EVERYONE BELIEVE THEY ALWAYS AHVE MONEY AND A PERFECT FAMILY! THIS IS THE TRUTH ABOUT THEM!

    • tt generalize too much

      just 1 viet guy doesnt represent the total population. im broke azz sh1t and i tell everyone. i try to drop and offer what i have, and my family is not near to perfect .

      • Tranvk

        I am a Vietnamese man and I am not like that.  I do most of the cooking and cleaning because I get home first.  I take care of the house, do the laundry, change the bed, etc.  I don’t look at other women, abuse my wife, or any of those things.  None of my four brothers is like what is commented here.  I think it’s because how we were raised.  My wife is caucasian.

      • Truly

        Good for you, I guess you’re one of a kind, keep it up.

    • Truly

      That is so true, they think they’re all that!!! Vietnamese men are soooo, sooo immature when it comes to relationship, they are not loyal at all, majority of them. They love to party, drink, flirt and pretending they’re singles even though they either just got married or been married and have kid/s. It’s very sad just to think about it. Lots of them go visit their country and remarry or cheat with their wives, they’re Pigs!!! Don’t you notice that they’re very argumentative as well, worst than women’s mouth for real!!! They lOve to mock and brag!!! Agghhhh! So full of it! I guess I just had a bad experience with that Vietnamese dude!!!

    • Crow_p-70

      my 21 year old daughter is dating one and i see him controling her and i tell her that i don’t like him he has already lied, looks at other women in front of her and i’m just scared for her he just read some of her diary a couple weeks ago i just can’t belive she hasn’t kicked him to the curb!!!! i need help in showing her what a mistake she is making by being with him i see a big fake and yes he is full of himself i can’t stand him

  • Guest

    I will have to agree with this article for the most part.  Vietnamese men in general from my experience all have the mentality that they are the kings in the house and their wife is a slave.  My current fiance who was married to a Vietnamese man for over 5 years was abused by him on a daily basis.  She would work her ass off and he would take all her money and use it for himself.  She basically never saw a dime of her money.  When she finally decided she wanted to take measures in her own hands and actually fight back verbally to keep her money that she worked hard for, he divorced her and now goes around everywhere telling everyone she cheated on him and shes the one who divorced him.  In Vietnam, if you are a woman, it doesn’t matter if your husband is a druggy, abuser, alcoholic, gambler, or treats you with no respect, if you divorce, that means your the bad one.  They ABSOLUTELY love gossiping and talking shit about everyone.  A common trait amongst both the Vietnamese women and men.  I hope these things will one day change and if it doesn’t, Vietnam will continue to have the problems they do as a corrupt country. 

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  • Sweethan

    everything you say is all perfect true. they have an ughly heart. they supper ego and control freak.

  • Santino_09

    i sincerely appreciate this article. i fell in love with a Vietnamese man who won’t tell me so much about his country or his culture. he is such a silent person. i don’t think he loves me that’s why. by the way, we have a daughter…

    • Tranvk

      That is too bad.  I would tell my wife what was like growing up in Vietnam, the culture, foods, etc.  She loves Vietnamese soups and is trying to learn some Vietnamese.  Maybe you should ask your husband about Vietnam.  If he grew up there as I did, there were some unpleasant things, but that was a long time ago.

  • Sublime41

    this is very accurate! I’m American and my boyfriend is Vietnamese and he likes me doing everything for him: throw away his trash, cook for him, pretty much everything he asks me to do, he thinks i should do it right then not in 5 minutes but right when he asks. I’m not saying that its a bad thing, i like taking care of him and i know its not him being a jerk its his culture and he was raised to sit and drink while the women do everything. I do these things without complaining because he does take care of me like it says up above. He usually pays for Everything all he asks for in return is that i love him. All this sounds crazy but trust me I’ve dated all races pretty much and vietnamese men are by far the best. They are very family oriented and love to take care of their women. Also, if i had a problem with any guy no matter the size, i know for a fact he’ll be there to take care of it. So the big ego thing is not all that bad :) and all the bad comments below is true with some men but, every race and every country has some bad guys, you just have to find the good ones in the bunch<3

    • Mario

      His culture? lol this article doesn’t mention one thing which is they’re great at brainwashing. Yeah his culture and you believe that nonsense. It’s not his culture but him screwing you in the ass and laughing behind your back

  • john hoang

    I think it stereotype that you describe about vietnamese men in this article. Not all vietnamese are lazy bums they actually work and provide for their families. Consider the fact average income of 2millions dong a month, some of these men work very hard with little time socializing with friends.

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  • Aa

    Even though they are gallant and romantic they don’t do shit to try to make a relationship work

    • guest

      they are only gallant and romantic at first, just like every other guy out there… only to get what they want 

  • Buiminhese

    “Gallant (Overdoing)

    How many times do you go out with a Vietnamese man and he offers to
    pay for you?  How many times do you go out with that same Vietnamese man
    and he offers to pay for you again?  I don’t know how lucky you are,
    but I rarely had to pay for anything when I visited Vietnam.  Yes, I’m a
    guy, not a beautiful girl as you would imagine.  Most Vietnamese men
    won’t let you pay if you were to go out with them regardless of your
    gender, even if you have to throw a fist at them to pay for your own
    share.  A lot of people think that this is a very nice trait of a
    gentleman, but to me they are overdoing it.  Sometimes, they offer to
    cover your back when they don’t even have enough money for themselves! 
    Maybe we could link this trait to the big ego that I mentioned above and
    get a clearer picture of why Vietnamese men act like that.  Some people
    may say that Vietnamese men are more generous than other men.  That
    really depends on you.”
    ——

    No, not really. In Vietnam, if you go out for dinner with a Vietnamese
    friend. He usually suggests to pay for a meal. This time is his turn,
    and the second dinner out is your turn. I mean that you are expected to
    reciprocate for a return dinner. If you don’t do so, the relationship or
    the hospitality could be suffered. On the other hand, Americans or
    Westerners usually share bills for each time, so they don’t need to care
    for the next time who will pay. Actually, Vietnamese teenagers,
    including me, now are adopting the lifestyle of Western culture which is
    sharing bills for every time eating out. However, in formal business,
    if your Vietnamese partner invite you to have dinner at his home or
    somewhere, you are expected to reciprocate at your house, or at a hotel,
    or at a restaurant.
     

  • MT

    Alright, my parents are Vietnamese and I know for a fact that vietnamese men are some of the worse men out there. My mom is okay, I love her, she is controlling and very insecure but it’s partly because my father doesn’t show any affection for her. They are stuck in this ugly marriage that won’t stop. My father is emotionally absent and although he doesn’t abuse any of us, he doesn’t do jack shit to be a real ‘father’. My mom works all the time and is the breadwinner. He helps around the house at least, but for the first half of their marriage he only went out to coffee shops and never looked for a real job. He is also very egotistical and he thinks that everything should just fall in his lap, even money. He doesn’t believe in hard work or going out to make an effort. 

    All in all, vietnamese women have it the hardest because they have to work very hard especially when they have a family with a vietnamese man who is not helpful at all (if anything they make it worse by taking their wives money). My parents generation forbids divorce and they have stayed together for 30 something years. I feel terribly sorry for them. The Vietnamese culture has it’s good and bad but when it comes to relationships…I would say 80% of them are not so great due to their personality and up bringing. 

  • Juliatcao

    I’m Vietnamese. I know for sure that this article is true about a lot of Vietnamese men. My dad does sit and drink with his friends but he’s also an AMAZING father. I love him with all of my heart. My mom and dad are still madly in love and he’s NEVER abused my mother. Both of my parents work and while my mom works more my dad makes more money. My dad cleans up around the house but my mom does all the cooking. My dad is VERY loyal to my grandma. He takes care of her (feeds her, takes her to the bathroom, gives her foot rubs, etc.) although my father isn’t perfect he truly is a good man. He’s taught my brothers to treat women with respect and he’s taught me how to respect men. Although my family is very modernized we still go by tradition. Elders are always to be respected and we still speak the native language around the home. Overall I think this article can be VERY true. But there are a lot of good Vietnamese men out there. Btw, I will not be a trophy wife when I marry. I plan on keeping my last name:)

  • SoCal

    I couldn’t agree more.

    BEWARE.  They are users.  Users of partners and users of friends.  I have had serious viet girlfriends including engagement and long lasting friendships with other with viet guys; and ALL were born in the US with viet being their 2nd language.  They have ALL used me for something…Once I couldn’t provide them what they wanted they left/moved on.  The friendship, relationship, compassion and memories all meant absolutely nothing.  They treat people like ‘stepping stones’ and once they have gotten where they need, they will leave without remorse.

    I spent 5 years watching my ex’s father, uncles and brother ALL treat their families as described in the articles and in the comments.

    Shady, MATERIALISTIC and heartless…Its in their DNA, Viets cannot help it, the are emotionally un-evolved.  

    I just cant decide if the actually know what they are doing and dont care?  Or are they unaware of the pain they are causing?  I now shy away from ALL viets, since my realization I have never been proven wrong.

  • Vy

    this whole thing is problematic. title is worst. we’re a people- not one person who acts and thinks in sync

  • An

    my dad is the scary kind of smart!
    but moving on, there’s a reason why viet men usually don’t do housework (it may be because of culture, or it’s not), but here’s what happens in my family:

    [dad decides to mop the floor]
    [mom walks in] “What are you DOING? That’s not how it’s done! You’re supposed to … …, not ….!”

    [dad decides to cook dinner]
    [mom walks in] “What are you DOING? DON’T put that in, that … doesn’t go with …., you’re supposed to put …. instead….!”

    [dad decides to do laundry]
    [mom walks in] “What are you doing old man?! You’re supposed to seperate the clothes first, not put them all in at once!”

    [dad decides to — lol, you get the point right? But dad’s pretty cool, he can do other things, like fixing the computers, taking care of the garden, and earning bread for the family ;)